🌀THE MEETING THAT EXPLAINED EVERYTHING AND NOTHING

Inside Trump’s December 2, 2025 Cabinet Spectacle

🎭 Act I: The Table Where Reality Went to Stretch Its Legs

I really want to believe Trump’s cabinet.
I mean that sincerely. I did not go into this as a cynic. So I listened to their cabinet meeting from start to finish — the whole theatrical production — and I did my usual deep dive.

According to all of them, we are making billions and performing greatly because of his leadership. And every single one starts with the same prayerful, scripted preamble:

“Thank you, Mr. President. Thank you Jesus. It’s an honor to serve. This has been the most transformational year.”

The sameness of it was uncanny. Not like governance — like choreography.

If they’re all telling the truth, then we should be floating in gold.
Our streets should look like The Wizard of Oz. We should be skipping down the Yellow Brick Road, pockets heavy with tariff revenues and surpluses and miracles.

Apparently we are now “the hottest country in the world.”
(They said this with a straight face.)

What the hell are they talking about?

Gaza got worse. Inflation hasn’t become a fairytale. The world is still on fire. Nothing was “ended.” Nothing was “fixed.” And yet the meeting floated above reality like a helium balloon.

It was so crazy to listen to.
So crazy that it felt staged.
Like they just made up stuff and read from one centrally written narrative — the rhythm, the beats, the praise, the cadence identical from one department to the next.

And here’s the thing that hurts the most:

Again, I want to believe the man.
I feel he has something — I’m just not sure what it is.
I think he has a heart. I think he cares in his own way.

But this meeting?
This meeting was scary.

And I want to hold him — and them — accountable.
That is what American freedom of speech is. That is what I’m most proud of: that we can speak out. At least… so far.

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🏛️ Act II: The Praise Spiral

One of the strangest things about the meeting was the tone — not just reverent but liturgical.

Praise Trump.
Thank Jesus.
Declare the year “transformational.”
Proclaim a miracle.
Repeat.

It made me so suspicious that I’m now combing through each person’s speech word by word, line by line, pulling apart the claims, the myths, the illusions, the impossible numbers.

I kept asking:

Where is all this money coming in?
And why am I not feeling it in the grocery line?

No one explained that part.

Because explaining it would require the numbers to be real.

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🛰️ Act III: The Departments That Performed America

Each speaker did this mesmerizing thing:
They built an architectural model of success — tall, glittering, impossible — and then placed it on the table as if it were a real building.

Doug Collins told us that Defense and Veterans Affairs had “never communicated” until now.
Sean Duffy announced a telecommunications miracle two decades late.
Pam Bondi delivered a sermon about 7,000 arrests and a “safe” D.C.
Rubio declared a new foreign policy “era.”

Each one contradicted something from the last administration, or the last month, or the last measurable dataset.

But none of that mattered.
This wasn’t a report.
It was a performance.

If you whispered “Cut!” the cameras would stop and everyone would go back to being human.

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💼 Act IV: The Chief of Staff Who Appeared Out of Thin Air

And then came the President’s benediction — a sudden shift in lighting, a spotlight moment:

“She’s our first female Chief of Staff in the history of our country.”

This time, the line was true.
But in the room, it functioned less as fact and more as incantation — the crescendo of a performance.

Because by that point, the meeting had slipped fully into ritual.
Reality wasn’t being discussed; it was being declared.

That’s when it hit me:
this wasn’t a cabinet meeting.
It was a pageant.
A ceremony.
A carefully blocked choreography of narrative.

Every department followed the same liturgical order of service:

1. Praise Trump.

2. Declare a crisis inherited.

3. Proclaim a miracle achieved.

4. Testify to national rebirth.

It was the bureaucratic equivalent of a megachurch revival — complete with testimonial cadence, rising crescendos, and the rhythm of an audience cued to applaud.

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🧭 Act V: My Own Compulsion — Holding the Blueprint to the Light

This one was so surreal I actually had to take the weekend off just to try to digest it — to sit with the drawings, the distortions, the impossible geometry of what they said. My mind needed to step out of the building and catch its breath.

Because of how surreal it all felt — how perfectly staged — I am now doing this the only way I know how:

Architecturally.

You hold the blueprint up to the light.
You check the lines.
You check the load-bearing claims.
You test the structure.

And when the structure collapses, you document the collapse.

So this begins a new series in the Twainian archive:

THE CABINET THAT OBEYED
A department-by-department fact-check of the December 2, 2025 meeting.

Up next:

🛡️⚔️ The War Department that Isn’t: Inside Pete Hegseth’s Fantasy Pentagon

The contradictions, the illusions, the impossible geometry, and the blueprint haze behind his claims.

Stay tuned.
I’m going all the way down the Yellow Brick Road — but this time, I’m documenting every brick.

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If this investigation made you laugh, wince, or mutter “what fresh geometry is this?” —
you may “buy me a drink” as tribute for surviving another week inside America’s Funhouse of Governance™.

A toast to freedom of speech, to architectural sanity, and to keeping the compass rose pointed somewhere sensible.

Click to contribute a liquid thank-you.