🗞️ Welcome to the Gazette: You’ve Been Warned.

Cue the overture. Raise the curtain. Check the exits.

This is Twain’s Gazette of the Absurd—where satire meets the state, and neither comes out clean.

I’m Kimberly Twain, your architect-in-residence and satirist-in-chief. I’ll be reporting from the crumbling façade of late-stage democracy with nothing but a fountain pen, a hard hat, and zero tolerance for hypocrisy dressed up as policy. If that sounds theatrical—it is. This isn’t news. It’s a full-blown tragicomedy in sepia tones.

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🧱 What This Is:

• A newsletter built on rage, rigor, and really good sentences

• A place where architecture is never just about buildings, and politics is always about structure

• A series of dispatches from the edges of respectability, civility, and the crumbling middle class

• An ongoing roast of the American experiment, delivered with humor, heart, and historical receipts

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🎭 What to Expect:

You’ll see regularly recurring columns such as:

• Skewered Plans – Architectural and urban planning takedowns

• Absurdist Dispatches – Essays on cultural madness and system collapse

• Dear White Liberal – Letters no one asked for, but absolutely deserve

• Code Violations – Satirical inspection reports on the American system

• Letters from the Last Sane Writer – Personal essays from a nation in slow motion freefall

Some posts will be free. Some will be paywalled for my founding subscribers—affectionately titled Citizen Twains. They keep the lights on and the flamethrower fueled.

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💬 What You Can Do:

• Subscribe (free or paid)

• Share the newsletter with friends, enemies, or zoning board members

• Comment like you mean it

• Or just sit quietly in the back and mutter “well, damn” to yourself

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🎤 Final Note:

I’m not here to convince anyone. I’m here to say what needs saying—beautifully, brutally, and sometimes with a building metaphor. If the world’s falling apart, let’s at least collapse in style.

Welcome to the Gazette.

Now… let the skewering begin.

– Kimberly Twain

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Thanks for reading Twain’s Gazette of the Absurd.
If this made you laugh, think, or rage quietly into your coffee mug, consider sharing it with a friend, a nemesis, or your local zoning board.

Subscribe for free to stay in the loop—or become a Citizen Twain to support sharp satire, fearless critique, and the occasional architectural takedown.

🖋️ Subscribe. Share. Skewer. Repeat.